If Only In My Dreams
by Hope Mikaelson-Clarke
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own Legacies. Rating upped from T to M with the posting of chapter 3.
1. Chapter 1

If Only In My Dreams

Chapter 1

**Summary:** After talking to Ryan on the phone, Hope goes to bed thinking of her mudman. And how she didn't know when she had started referring to him as _hers_.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Legacies.

Hope tried to ignore the stab of pain that hit her heart over hearing Ryan's voice choking up over the phone as he called to say goodbye one last time. She tried to ignore the fleeting feeling that had risen in her chest when he had said that he didn't hate her, and the words he left unsaid. She tried to ignore the nagging feeling that it didn't feel right to be kissing Landon anymore. In her mind, she saw her partner taller and leaner. She tried to ignore that too. But when she pulled the covers up over her shoulders an hour later, everything that she had been trying to ignore came flooding back, and Hope was overwhelmed with thoughts of Ryan. She already missed him. Her heart ached knowing that she would never see him again. She couldn't help but to think that there would forever be a whole in her heart where her mudman had stolen a piece of it.

The fact that she had just referred to Ryan Clarke as _her_ mudman startled Hope. Just that morning she had told him that she had cast a spell to change his appearance from looking like Landon to looking like himself: the vilest thing she could think of. And now, here she was, trying to go to bed after experiencing Christmas in October, and seeing Santa Claus kill the Krampus, mentally referring to the golem that she had thought she despised as _hers_. Had spending most of the day with him to make sure he wouldn't get into trouble or escape without going through with the plan to sacrifice himself really changed her perspective on him that drastically? Hope shook her head. There was no way that she had gone from despising Ryan to claiming him in 1 day. It wasn't possible. But thinking that alone made Hope's inner wolf growl at the denial.

That's when it hit her. Consciously, Hope didn't feel much more than pity for the golem. But in the depths of her soul, where her inner wolf resided when she wasn't in wolf form, had recognized Ryan as her mate. Not that there was much that Hope could do anything about it now. It was nearly one in the morning. Ryan had made it clear that after everything she had done for him that day, that he would sacrifice himself and go into the portal. He was gone. And until she activated her vampire side, Hope wouldn't be facing off against Malivore, meaning that she wouldn't be seeing Ryan again. So her wolf claiming him was pointless. Hope tried to reason with her wolf when it growled in her head. But that ended up being in vain. Her wolf was firmly believing that they would be seeing Ryan again.

"Well, we won't be seeing him again tonight. So I need sleep after the day I've had." Hope muttered to herself before willing her body to go to sleep.

As soon as her eyes closed, Hope was asleep. Her dreams were filled with all things Christmas, which was typical, given the day that she had had, but she wasn't in a place she recognized. She wasn't in New Orleans, celebrating Christmas with her family, and she wasn't in Mystic Falls, celebrating Christmas with her friends, either. She was somewhere else. Somewhere that was new to her. Glancing around her, Hope noticed some pictures on frames hanging on the wall. Walking over to them, Hope let out a gasp. Every single one of the pictures was of her and Ryan at different stages of the year. Of different stages of their life... which seemingly was a life together.

The picture that caught Hope's attention the most was the one where she was showing off a beautiful engagement ring while Ryan held her around the waist and was pressing a kiss to her temple, the tip of a smile showing on his lips from where it could be see around her hair and the look of pure love shining in his eyes at the fact that she had just accepted his proposal. Drawing her eyes away from the picture, Hope glanced down at her left hand, and her breath caught in her throat at seeing the ring in person. As she stared at the ring, Hope distantly heard a door open and close before footsteps made their way in her direction. It was only when a very familiar pair of arms wrapped around her waist and a chin came to rest on her shoulder that Hope broke out of the trance that the ring had her in.

"You have yet to get over the novelty of having an engagement ring on your finger, have you Sweetheart?" Ryan murmured in Hope's ear, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

"It's like a dream." Hope replied with a sigh.

"It is a dream, Hope. You know none of this is real." Ryan said.

"It feels real."

"You were the one who said that anything can be real if you believe it enough."

"I did say that, didn't I? But this isn't what I meant, Ryan."

Ryan looked at Hope in surprise, his eyes wide. Hope only raised an eyebrow at him in response.

"What?"

"You just called me by my first name. You've never called me by my first name. Not even when I wished you a Merry Christmas on the phone."

"That can't be true."

"Believe me, Hope. I would have memorized each and every moment surrounding you calling me 'Ryan' if you had ever called me that before. As it is, I've memorized each and every moment that you've called me 'Clarke'. You definitely have not called me 'Ryan' before."

Hope let out a huff and slowly turned around to look at him. Despite their conversation going to a place she hadn't expected it to go, she hadn't actually _seen_ him. He looked a lot more comfortable than he usually did. And she was drawn to him. Sure, she was used to him in suits, and he looked good in them, and had been immensely attractive in a leather jacket, but this look- jeans and a hoodie- this was the most attractive Hope had ever found Ryan.

"What I call you aside... I wasn't talking about _us_ when I said what I said on the phone. I was talking about you believing your father could still love you." Hope said as she rested her hands on Ryan's chest. "I was saying it to for your benefit, not for mine."

"Whosever benefit you said it for, Hope, you still said it, and we wouldn't be here right now if you didn't want all of this, with me, deep down." Ryan said before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Will I ever see you again?" Hope asked in a small voice.

"Of course you will, Sweetheart. You are the most powerful witch that I know. You have the means and actual power to see me whenever you want. Especially in your dreams."

"How long do these usually last?"

"However long you want it to, Hope. I'm not going anywhere until you are ready to wake up."

Hope bit her lower lip and lightly clung to Ryan's hoodie to pull herself closer to him. As Ryan wrapped his arms tighter around her waist, Hope pushed herself up onto her toes and pressed her lips to his. She didn't care if this was a dream. She wanted to have an idea of what it felt like to have Ryan's lips against her own. Being a foot shorter than Ryan made Hope have to wrap her arms around his neck to pull him in closer. But he didn't seem to mind. Which made sense, since this was all happening inside her head, as Ryan was currently stuck inside the darkness again. But he still bent down and hooked his arms underneath the back of her thighs and lifted her into his arms. A move that instantly had Hope wrapping her legs around Ryan's waist as he carried her elsewhere in the house.

As soon as Hope's back hit the soft surface of a bed, she broke the kiss to look up at Ryan. Even with Hope's legs still wrapped tightly around his waist as she lay on the bed, Ryan was standing at the side of the bed, pulling his hoodie over his head to reveal a bare chest underneath. Hope started to reach for him but thought better of it and let her hand fall to her side. Ryan didn't seem all too happy that she had stopped herself, as he grabbed Hope's hand in his and placed it on his chest.

"Don't stop yourself from doing what you want, Sweetheart. This is your dream, remember? You can do whatever you want to do. _We_ can do whatever you want us to do." Ryan encouraged.

Hope nodded and traced the outline of Ryan's abdominal muscles. Her eyes followed the path her fingertips took before looking up at the man above her. The look he had on his face was one of pure love, and it broke Hope's heart. He had said that he didn't hate her, implying that he at least liked her, but had she really been so guarded against how he really felt about her because of what everyone in her life would think if she acknowledged his feelings for her with her own feelings? And now here, in her dreams, she could truly see him and how he felt for her? Unwrapping her legs from around his waist, Hope sat up onto her knees and pulled Ryan into a hug, sighing softly when he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck.

"I'm sorry Ryan. For everything. For forcing you to relive the worst time of your life... twice. For pushing you away when I should have just told you how I felt. I'm sorry for all of it." Hope whispered.

"It's okay, Sweetheart. I wouldn't have told you I didn't hate you if I hadn't forgiven you already." Ryan replied.

Keeping her arms securely around Ryan's neck, Hope started to move backwards towards the middle of the bed, taking him with her. She had just settled back against the pillows, with Ryan pushing the hem of her shirt up and placing a trail of kisses along the newly exposed skin when something jarred Hope awake. Sitting up in bed, Hope let out a sob. When the doorknob started to rattle insistently, Hope realized that her sobs weren't silent ones. And whomever had woken her up, had taken her away from Ryan, was trying to get into her room. Wiping the tears away as best as she could, Hope tossed the covers back and headed towards the door, ready to make heads roll for forcing her to leave her dream when she wasn't ready to leave yet. But whomever she had expected to be on the other side of her door, it wasn't who was actually there.

"Liz? What the hell do you want?" Hope asked.

"Someone found something that you need to see." Lizzie commented as she glanced around Hope into her room. "Hobbit isn't with you?" She asked.

"No, Lizzie, he isn't." Hope replied, surprised that she wasn't as offended by Lizzie's nickname for Landon as she used to be.

"Probably for the best. He would be too happy to see this." Lizzie said with a shrug as she grabbed Hope's wrist and pulled the tribrid along behind her.

As soon as the two girls reached the common room, Hope was horrified. There, in the middle of the room, surrounded by too many of the students, was Ryan's body... or at least, the simulation of Landon, spelled by her less than 24 hours earlier to look like Ryan's body, beheaded. Hope fell to her knees with a hand over her mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks. Ryan couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be. It took her much too long to realize that she was sobbing out loud again and that everyone was staring at her with various degrees of concern on their faces.


	2. Chapter 2

If Only In My Dreams

Chapter 2

Hope didn't know who ended up getting her back onto her feet and back to her room. She thought it might have been Kaleb, but all she could see what Ryan's headless body. And the second her arm that was being used to lead her away from the sight was released, Hope bolted towards her bathroom and threw up. She knew that it wasn't truly Ryan's body- his actually body had disappeared after his consciousness was transferred to Simu-Landon's body- but it had his likeness because she had spelled it to have his likeness. And someone had beheaded him. She didn't think she would get to sleep any time soon after seeing him like that.

Once she leaned back from the toilet, Hope realized she wasn't alone and slowly opened one eye. It had, in fact, been Kaleb that had taken her away from the scene in the common room, and he was taking care of her. She briefly wondered where Landon was, but then recalled what Lizzie had said. Landon didn't know what had happened, and if he had, he would have been thrilled by it. And seeing her so distraught over his brother would have just made him pissed off, and it probably would have been Miss Mystic Falls all over again.

When Kaleb handed her a glass of water, Hope gave her friend a half smile in thanks and took a sip before tilting her head back to rest it against the wall. When she felt Kaleb lightly nudge her arm, Hope turned her head and looked at him.

"I've only seen you look that tore up once before. I didn't like seeing you like that the first time, I hated seeing it again tonight. You love him." Kaleb said.

"Yes." Hope replied in a small voice.

"How long?" Kaleb asked.

"I don't know. I just realized it when I was dreaming about him before Lizzie came to get me."

"Do you think you'll be okay enough to sleep? From what Lizzie said, that wasn't really him, but a simulation?"

"Yeah. Yesterday, Josie made a simulation of Landon's subconscious. The plan had been to pump enough of my blood into him and send him to his end into the portal. Josie tied his usefulness to the lunar cycle. He was supposed to have gone into the portal, and when the moon reached it's apex, he would disintegrate, giving Malivore nothing to spit back out, because with enough of my blood in the simulation, it would have destroyed Malivore. Clearly the plan didn't work. Someone got to him first." Hope explained bitterly.

"That didn't look like our boy's body." Kaleb commented.

"That would be because last night he tricked his half brother into transferring his consciousness into him. I cast a spell to make him look like his half brother instead of Landon. It wasn't right seeing Landon's face, but having Clarke's words coming from his mouth."

"Clarke... Agent Clarke? That creepy dude from Triad!?"

"Calm down Kaleb; he wasn't as bad as he made himself look in Maple Hollows. I spent 5 months with no one but him for company when I was in Malivore. We connected on ways that I never connected with Landon. And I spent all day with him today. As he was the only other person that wasn't effected by the merriment that you were all consumed by." Hope said. "Maybe I've loved him all along, and just desperately tried to deny it to myself. Maybe I've loved him since we were in Malivore together. Maybe today changed everything. All I know is that I love him, and even seeing a simulation that was spelled to look like him beheaded was painful." She continued. "And this is exactly why I stopped letting people get close to me after my parents died. I can't keep losing people that I love."

"Are you sure it was Clarke that you love, though? Maybe your mind and heart are playing tricks on you. Since you knew that it was a simulation of Landon's subconscious, could it not be that what you're feeling is stemming from that?" Kaleb asked.

"I'm sure Kaleb." Hope said with a frown. "Thank you for getting me back to my room. I should be okay from here." She added.

With a nod, the young vampire stood up and helped Hope to her feet before giving her a one armed hug and vamping out of the room. Hope turned off the light in the bathroom and slowly made her way back to bed. Pulling the covers up to her chin, Hope stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out where Ryan's body could actually be. Coming up completely empty, she closed her eyes tightly, wanting desperately to return to her dreamscape so that she could see Ryan unharmed. And whether it was by the lingering Christmas magic, or by her sheer will power, when Hope opened her eyes again, she was in bed with Ryan again, and he was looking down at her with worry in his eyes.

"Everything okay, Sweetheart?" He asked.

"Yes... no... I don't know." Hope replied as she sat up and pulled her legs into her chest.

"Talk to me, Hope." Ryan said as he moved to sit against the pillows and pulled Hope back to lean against his chest.

"Your body... or at least the simulation body... it was beheaded. I know that it wasn't your real body, but it still hurt to see you like that. Especially right after what we were in the middle of doing here." Hope explained as she twisted to rest her head on his shoulder and look up at him. "I prefer you like this." She added before pulling his head down for a kiss.

"I prefer me like this, too. It'd be too difficult to kiss you and hold you at the same time if I didn't have my head attached." Ryan commented in between kisses.

"Great, you're an ass in my dream, too." Hope said with a sigh.

"If you had imagined me any other way, it wouldn't have felt right, Hope, and you know it."

Hope pouted at that. She didn't like it when Ryan was right. She was stubborn enough to not like admitting when she was wrong about something, and while she hadn't said anything that was wrong, the feeling of not liking it when Ryan was right was the same feeling as if she had said something that was wrong. But then a wicked grin grew on Hope's face and she used her heightened agility to turn around and pin Ryan beneath her. He was still shirtless from earlier and Hope herself was wearing short shorts and a tank top, so getting them to where she wanted them wasn't going to be too difficult. Taking his hands in hers, Hope laced their fingers together and held Ryan's hands above his head.

"Do you trust me?" Hope asked.

"Hope..." Ryan replied slowly.

"I know, I know, it's my dream, but humor me, please?"

"Of course I trust you, Hope. Despite what you did, I've never not trusted you."

"Okay... keep your hands above your head until I say so."

Ryan nodded before moving his hands under his head as a way to show Hope that he would restrain from touching her until she was ready for him to touch her. When Hope was satisfied that Ryan would behave, she reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt before pulling it over her head slowly. After tossing the material onto the floor, Hope placed her hands on Ryan's chest and bit her lower lip. She didn't really know why she was so nervous to be doing any of this. This was her dream, and they were engaged in this dream. Clearly they had a happy life together, and a good life at that. Surely they wouldn't have gotten to this stage if they hadn't done things like this before. Even if it was all just a dream.

"You okay, Sweetheart?" Ryan asked when Hope didn't do anything more than sit on his lap with her hands on his chest.

"Yeah, just um, a bit nervous. I've never..." Hope trailed off.

"May I...?" Ryan asked.

"Yes please." Hope replied with a nod and Ryan sat up and lightly grasped her hips.

"If you're nervous about doing this, then we don't have to. Your dream, your rules." Ryan said as his rubbed his thumbs in circles on Hope's sides. "If we've had sex before, then there's no reason to be nervous now. If we've managed to get to the point of being engaged without having sex, then you have every reason to be nervous. But you decide how far we've gone."

"I want us to have had sex before." Hope said slowly. "But knowing that I've never had sex before, it's a bit intimidating." She admitted.

"Would you like me to take the lead this time?" Ryan asked.

"Yes please." Hope repeated and let Ryan roll them over.

Hope looked up at Ryan with hooded eyes. As Ryan's hands lightly roamed over her body and to the waistband of her shorts, Hope's breath hitched and she bit her lower lip. In a slow blink of her eyes, Ryan had her shorts off and she was laying naked beneath him. But before she had a chance to feel self-conscious, Ryan had removed his jeans and boxers as well. Pulling the covers up over their bodies, Ryan hovered over Hope's body before leaning down and pressing his lips to hers. Right before they were joined, Hope was shaken awake and she let out a groan of frustration as she opened her eyes to glare at the intruder.

"What the hell are you doing here, Landon? It's the middle of the night." Hope asked as she spared a brief look at her body and was glad to find herself still clothed.

"Well, we had been sharing a bed before you jumped into the pit with my ass of a brother. I figured you wouldn't mind if I joined you tonight, since we're back together." Landon said.

"Actually, I do mind. I mind quite a bit, to be perfectly honest. So please, just leave. We can talk about what we are in the morning." Hope said as she physically pushed him off of her bed. "And for the record, Ryan is not an ass, not completely." She added.

"Was. He's dead Hope." Landon commented.

"No, he's not. The body that was beheaded was the simulation of your subconscious that allowed Ryan to transfer his consciousness into him. I spelled him to look like himself instead of you. His actual body went missing after the transfer. Not that you would have known any of that, since you ran off like the coward you know you are." Hope growled.

"What the hell has gotten into you Hope? This isn't the girl that I fell in love with." Landon asked, completely bewildered.

"The girl you fell in love with is gone, Landon. I was in the pit for 5 months with Ryan while you were busy sticking your tongue down my best friend's throat. I've changed a lot since that night in Georgia, and I'm not about to go back to being that girl." Hope said. "Now get the hell out of my room."

With more power than she had ever used against someone before while in her right mind, Hope tossed Landon against the wall by her door. For the smallest millisecond, Hope thought she might have killed him, but then he lifted himself off of the floor and looked at her. He was fuming, but so was Hope, and between the two of them, Hope was the more dangerous one. Hope could feel her wolf itching to come out and tear Landon apart for insulting Ryan. It was becoming even more evident to her that Ryan was her mate. And wolves were very protective of their mates.

"You can't kill me, Hope." Landon commented.

"You're right, I can't. But I will not let you talk badly against him ever again." Hope seethed as she produced a ball of energy in between her hands and glared at Landon. "If you so much as speak a syllable of anything negative against Ryan ever again, you will regret it, Kirby." She said and blasted him with magic.

When Landon lifted himself off of the floor again, he looked more pissed off than hurt by her actions and words but left without another word. With a shaking hand, Hope used magic to slam her door shut and lock it before she wrapped her arms around herself and fell to her knees. She was thankful that the tears fell silently this time, and only once they had subsided did she lift herself back up to her feet and climb back into bed. Pulling her covers back over her body shakily, Hope closed her eyes. She needed Ryan right now.

"Who woke you up this time, Sweetheart?"


	3. Chapter 3

If Only In My Dreams

Chapter 3

"_Who woke you up this time, Sweetheart?"_

Hope rolled over and wrapped her arms around Ryan's neck as tears started falling again. With one arm wrapped around Hope's waist, and the other holding the back of her head, Ryan pulled Hope closer and whispered that it was all okay, that he was there for her, and that when she was ready to talk he would listen. Hope didn't know how long she cried into Ryan's chest, but she was thankful that he wasn't pushing her to talk before she was ready. She just needed him to hold her while she cried.

"It was Landon. He tried climbing into bed with me while I was asleep, thinking I wouldn't mind." Hope muttered after she caught her breath.

"I take it you told him that wouldn't be happening?" Ryan asked.

"That, and to never speak badly of you ever again, or that he would regret it." Hope replied. "And I also used telekinesis to throw him against the wall, and do you remember that sphere that I whammied you with? I hit him with one of those too." She explained.

"Hope, Sweetheart... that was 2 days ago, so yes, I remember it." Ryan said. "But honestly, I deserved it. I taunted you about Landon and Josie. If you hadn't whammied me, I would have been surprised."

"I'm sorry about that, by the way." Hope whispered.

"Don't be. Like I said, I deserved it."

After that, Ryan just held Hope in his arms while rubbing her back and placing kisses to the top of her head and to her forehead. It was only once Hope's hand started roaming mindlessly over Ryan's body that she realized that they were naked again... or still. Her dreamscape seemed to just pick up from wherever it left off previously. Glancing up at Ryan, Hope tried to gauge from his expression if he expected them to continue what they had been about to do when Landon had woken her up. With a small smile, Ryan simply pressed his lips to Hope's forehead.

"If you want to continue, we can, but we don't have to, Hope." Ryan whispered directly into her ear and Hope draped a leg over his hip.

"I want to. Before someone else rudely wakes me up." Hope replied.

Ryan didn't waste any time in repositioning them so that he was on top of Hope. Lining himself up with her entrance, Ryan leaned down and captured Hope's lips in a deep kiss as he slammed into her. He knew that she had said that she hadn't had sex before, so being met with the resistance of her hymen shouldn't have surprised Ryan, but it did and it didn't help that Hope winced slightly at the pain.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked as he broke the kiss to look at her.

"Yeah... I just didn't think it would hurt, being that this is a dream and all." Hope replied as she shifted beneath him.

"Do you want to stop?"

"No! I just need a minute to get used to it."

Ryan nodded, but rolled them over so that Hope was laying on top of him. The movement had Hope taking more of Ryan's dick into her pussy and she let out a moan as she braced herself on his chest. When she slowly started to move, the light from the bedroom reflected off of her engagement ring and Hope got lost in the sensations of everything that was happening to her. The ring helped Hope let go of her worries and apprehensions about having sex for the first time, and she quickly started to ride Ryan. It helped her hold on to the fact that Ryan was her mate, and that she loved him with all of who she was. He deserved to be the one she gave herself to for her first time. She had just started to come down from her high when she felt the stirrings of her body start to wake up on its own.

"I don't want to leave." Hope whimpered as she clung to Ryan when he pulled her down to lay on his chest again.

"Then don't." Ryan replied.

"It's probably morning. I'm starting to wake up." Hope said with a pout as she rested her chin on the backs of her hands, which were laying on his chest, and locked eyes with him. "I can't exactly give myself a sleeping potion or put myself under a sleeping spell. That would be extremely dangerous." She added.

"Then come back to me tonight. We'll pick up right where we're leaving off." Ryan said.

Hope nodded and pressed her lips to Ryan's in what she could only refer to as a goodnight kiss. A kiss that promised future kisses to be shared, rather than one that marked the end of something. A finale. When the kiss broke, Hope kept her eyes closed because she didn't want to watch as her dreamscape slowly started to disappear as she started to become more awake. When she did open her eyes again, she was back in her room at school, with a lingering feeling of Ryan's lips pressed against her own, and a dull ache between her legs. The fact that she had just given her virginity to a dream version of Ryan, and that she could still feel the ache from it, had Hope questioning whether it was truly a dream or not. But she didn't give it much thought. She was sure that one of her friends would be showing up soon, dragging her out to defeat whichever monster was next... if there even was going to be a monster. Whomever beheaded the simulation could have easily dropped the head into the portal to close it. They wouldn't know until someone went to investigate. And Hope had little doubt in her mind on who would be the one to check: herself.

After getting dressed, Hope opened her bedroom door to find Lizzie and Kaleb standing on the other side, Lizzie's hand raised in a fist as if she was about to knock. Raising an eyebrow at her friends, Hope waited for one of them to say something, but when all they did was push her back into the room before entering it themselves and closing the door behind them, Hope was confused.

"What the hell is going on?" Hope asked.

"You and Hobbit." Lizzie stated.

"What about me and Landon? He pissed me off last night, so I used magic to throw him around my room so that he would get the hint to leave me alone and get out." Hope said with a shrug.

"He broke Jo's heart to be with you." Lizzie commented.

"And then you go and use him like a rag doll cuz you fell for his brother? That ain't right, Hope." Kaleb added.

"I thought you and Raf were just friends?" Lizzie asked.

"Raf and I aren't anything, according to him. He said that he couldn't disrespect Landon by being friends with me, which is bullshit, if I'm being honest. And I'm sorry that Josie is hurting, but Landon made his choice, and I made mine." Hope said. "And Kaleb isn't talking about Raf... he's talking about Ryan." She added.

"Ryan Clarke? The Triad guy that wanted to talk to you and Dad alone in Maple Hollows?" Lizzie asked.

"Yes." Hope replied. "My wolf... she um, claimed Ryan as her mate, and I didn't realize that until last night, and so when Landon insulted Ryan, the protectiveness that is there between mates flared up, so I kicked Landon out."

Lizzie and Kaleb looked impressed, but mostly confused. So Hope elaborated.

"I was asleep when Landon showed up last night, and he tried to climb into bed with me while I was asleep, assuming I wouldn't mind."  
"That's even more whack that what you did to him." Kaleb commented.

"No Kaleb, what's 'whack' is that it seems that Landon came back with Lizzie, asked me to wait for a minute so that he could go break up with Josie, came back to me, we kissed under the mistletoe- which didn't feel right anymore- and then tried to climb into my bed- while I was asleep- thinking I wouldn't mind. Simply because he and I shared a bed ONCE right before MG's mom abducted him after he walked away during the Miss Mystic Falls dance, and before I jumped into the pit with his "ass of a brother". I wasn't going to let him talk that way about Ryan."

Lizzie and Kaleb shared a look before each of them wrapped an arm around Hope and pulled her into a hug. Taking a deep breath to hold back the tears, Hope hugged them back for a moment before letting go and stepping back. Swiping the few tears that had escaped off of her cheeks, Hope gave her friends a half smile.

"Okay, so, since the simulation's body was beheaded, and someone found the body, then there's a chance that whoever beheaded him, dropped the head into the portal to close it. We need to go check on that. And then afterwards we should do a signature sweep of town to make sure there aren't any other portals from which monsters can come from." Hope said.

"We're here for you, Hope." Lizzie said.

"Yeah, and if Landon tries to mess with you again, I'll take care of him." Kaleb agreed. "No one messes with our girl and gets away with it."

Hope nodded slowly and stepped around her friends to head out of her room. As the three of them were walking towards the front door, their path was blocked by Landon and Rafael, and neither looked all that happy. Landon still looked pissed from the night before, and Rafael just looked hurt by everything, like he felt betrayed by Hope for not taking his "sacrifice" seriously.

"Can we help you boys?" Lizzie asked.

"We need to talk, Hope." Landon said, ignoring the blonde.

"You're right, we do. You're an asshole, Landon Kirby. You broke Josie's heart and then immediately thought it would be okay to jump into bed with me when I wasn't even awake to give my consent? Dick, move, Kirby." Hope said before pushing through the guys and continuing to make her way to the front door. "And if this conversation, and what happened last night didn't make it clear to you, we're done for good."

Hope spent the rest of the day with Lizzie and Kaleb. The three of them confirmed that the portal had, in fact been closed, and they searched all over town and made sure that another portal hadn't been created. A part of Hope had wished that the portal hadn't been closed, so that she might be able to see Ryan in person, tell him how she felt, but seeing no sign of Malivore had Hope losing a bit of faith of seeing her mudman any time soon, other than in her dreams. Upon returning back to the school, all eyes were on Hope as she walked through the halls with Lizzie and Kaleb flanking her on either side. When they got back to her room, Hope turned to Kaleb.

"What did you hear?" She asked.

"Landon is telling everyone that you're crazy, that being in Malivore for as long as you were made you lose your mind." Kaleb said with a growl.

"I've been out of Malivore for 2 months. If I had lost my mind while being stuck in Malivore, I'm sure that would have been signs before now. Besides, I wasn't the one who took the cowards way out by leaving instead of manning up and telling the two girls that he had feelings for that he loved them both and didn't want to hurt anyone." Hope replied.

"Most of the school doesn't fully believe him, but they are still curious to see if it's true or not." Kaleb explained.

With a groan, Hope fell onto her bed and threw her arm over her face. She felt the bed dip and then her arm being lifted up. Hope opened one eye to look at Lizzie who was giving her a worried look. Hope let out a sigh and took her friend's hand. If anyone knew what it truly felt like to be going crazy, it would be Lizzie, and Hope realized that she had misread Lizzie's facial expression. She wasn't worried so much as hurt that there was a possibility of Hope going crazy, and not having told her about it. After all, Lizzie had been the first one that had remembered Hope. The only one that had remembered Hope, at that, and she had thought that she and Hope were close enough for Hope to have wanted to confide in the blonde if she thought she was going crazy.

"Trust me, Liz, if I ever felt myself going crazy, I would tell you." Hope said before closing her eyes.

"Were you going to tell me about loving Hobbit's brother?" Lizzie asked.

"Once I had a second to fully wrap my mind around it, yes. But I just realized I loved him last night, Liz. I promise I wasn't hiding it from you." Hope replied.

"Then why did you tell Kaleb?"

"Because I was the one that brought her back here after she broke down at seeing the body. I had seen her like that once before, didn't like it then, didn't like it last night. I figured it out." Kaleb replied.

"I know it's early... but it's been a really stressful and long day, so can I have some time to myself?" Hope asked. "I'm not pushing either of you away, I just need some time to breathe and sort through my thoughts and feelings about everything." She assured them.

"Okay, but if you need anything, come find one of us." Kaleb said.

"Thank you both, for everything."

Once her friends had left, Hope changed for bed and crawled under the covers. She was ready to be in Ryan's arms again. But things didn't seem to be going her way. Because when she entered the dreamscape, Ryan wasn't there like he had promised he would be. Hope was alone in bed, still naked, but no Ryan. Sliding to the edge of the bed, Hope grabbed Ryan's discarded hoodie and pulled it over her head. It smelled like him and Hope wrapped it tightly around her, thankful that it was big enough to fall to the middle of her thighs. She had barely made it out of the bedroom when her body was pinned against the wall.

"Where do you think you're going, Sweetheart? We had plans to be in bed together when you came back." Ryan said as he stepped between Hopes parted legs.

"And _you_ promised you would be in bed when I came back. I was just looking for you." Hope replied as she trailed her hands up Ryan's chest and around his neck to play with the hair at the base of his neck.

"I was in the bathroom, Sweetheart. If you had a little bit more patience, you would have known that." Ryan commented. "But... I will forgive you this time because seeing you in nothing but my hoodie is extremely sexy."

"Which is sexier? Me in nothing but our hoodie, or me in nothing at all?" Hope asked.

"Impossible to choo- nothing at all. Definitely sexier when you're not wearing anything." Ryan replied as he tugged the hoodie over her head. "Much better." He muttered before lowering his head and pressing kisses to the side of Hope's neck.

"You have a wicked mouth, you know that, right?" Hope moaned.

"Do I? I hadn't noticed you ever taking a special interest in my mouth. Unless it was to press your lips to mine."

"You're an ass."

"But you love me anyway."

"Yes I do."


	4. Chapter 4

If Only In My Dreams

Chapter 4

Hope gasped as Ryan pulled back and gave her a surprised look. Neither of them knew what to do, or what to say, so they just stood there, staring at each other, both shocked over Hope's admission. It had been one thing for Ryan to have implied he loved her on the phone the night before; they hadn't been able to _actually_ see each other when he implied it. But having Hope admit that she loved him, when she was standing in front of him, both of them completely naked in the hallway of their home in Hope's dreamscape... that was a totally different thing altogether. Hope desperately wanted to say something, _anything_, to recover from the shock, but while she kept opening and closing her mouth, nothing was coming out. So she quickly stopped trying and leaned back against the wall to put a little bit more space between her and Ryan, while not breaking contact with him completely.

"You really do love me?" Ryan asked slowly.

"Yes... I... my inner wolf claimed you, Ryan. You're my mate." Hope replied slowly.

"You're mate?"

"It's a wolf thing. It means we're connected on the most intimate level possible, even if there isn't that physical intimacy. This version of you might not be real, even though I've imagined you to be as real as possible, but I know that you aren't truly dead. I can feel that you are still alive. I'm not sure how, since the body your consciousness was last in was beheaded, and the head was dropped into the portal, but I know that you're still out there. And I plan to find your body, Ryan." Hope explained.

"So if once you find my body, and reunite me with my consciousness, if you were to die, or be presumably killed, I would sense it?" Ryan asked.

"I don't think so. I can sense it because I'm a werewolf; you aren't, so I don't think you would be able to sense it. But then again, I've never heard of a wolf mating with a non-wolf, so I don't know how this whole thing works. And frankly, I think my dad realized my mom was his mate too late, and I don't want that to be us." Hope said with a frown before falling silent and looking away from Ryan.

Noting her discomfort over where the conversation was going, Ryan tilted her head up and pressed his lips to hers before lifting her into his arms. Hope responded immediately by wrapping her arms and legs around Ryan's body. Hope thought that Ryan would walk them back to bed, but instead he filled her pussy in one quick motion and made love to her against the wall in the hallway. The sensations that Hope felt this time around were different than when they had made love the night before, but she didn't dwell on that. She just chalked it up to them being in a different position than before and being in a different location. It was only once Hope had come down from her high that Ryan carried her back to bed.

"Hope?" Ryan asked softly as he wrapped an arm around Hope's waist and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"Yes, Ryan?"

"Where exactly are we?" Ryan asked. Of all the things Hope thought he would ask, that wasn't it.

"I'm not sure. All I know is that it's not Mystic Falls, and it's not New Orleans." Hope replied as she let out a sigh and linked their fingers together over her stomach.

"We'll have to go exploring then." Ryan commented.

"The only _exploring_ that I want to do, is of your body." Hope muttered as she closed her eyes.

"That's dangerous territory, Sweetheart." Ryan warned as he flattened his hand and ran it over her stomach and to the tops of her thigh.

"I'm not afraid of a little danger, Ryan. If I was, I never would have tried to sacrifice myself in an attempt to stop..." Hope trailed off as Ryan gripped her hip. "Your body... it's with him, isn't?" She asked in a small voice.

"I don't know, Hope. This is your dreamscape. I don't have the power to create a place like this. Anything that happened before you created this place for us, that you know the answer to, I know. Anything that's happened since then, or that happened that you don't know the answer to, I don't know about." Ryan said as he rolled Hope onto her back and leaned over her. "I wish I could tell you where to look for my body, Sweetheart. Nothing would make me happier than being able to hold you in my arms for real." He added. "To be able to worship your body with kisses. To tell you in person how much I love you." He continued. "God, Hope, I just want to be with you in all the ways we've avoided thus far."

Tears filled Hope's eyes at Ryan's words. She wanted everything with him that he was saying he wanted with her. And that's the part that hurt the most. The figment of her imagination that had taken the shape of Ryan was just telling her what she wanted. It wasn't real. She had no idea if Ryan truly felt this way about her, or if she was just projecting her own feelings into this dream version of Ryan. Biting her lower lip, Hope tried to fight back the tears that wanted to fall, but Ryan wouldn't let her. Running his thumb along her chin, he lightly tugged her lip out from her teeth and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"What's wrong, Hope? I hate seeing you cry." Ryan said as he wiped the tears away as they fell.

"None of this is real." Hope whispered. "You're saying what I wish you would say. And I'm projecting my feelings for you into a dream version of you. And none of it is real. You said it yourself. Many times. This is all a dream."

"Hope, you heard the words I didn't say on the phone. Why else would I have covered up the admittance of not hating you, leaving the implication that I love you, so quickly by saying that the truth spell was still working? This isn't just projecting your feelings Hope, this is how you know I feel about you." Ryan commented.

"But that's just it, Ryan. I _don't_ know if that's what you were implying. It's what I _wish_ you were implying. But until I can find your body, and your consciousness, I won't know for sure. All I'll have is this prefect dreamscape with you." Hope said as the tears started to fall faster.

"Shh, it's okay Sweetheart. I'm right here." Ryan whispered as he moved to sit back against the pillows and pulled Hope into his side while rubbing her back.  
"For once I just want someone that I care about and love to not leave me." Hope whimpered through her tears as she clung to Ryan as best as she could.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sweetheart." Ryan whispered with a kiss to the top of her head.

Everything about he dreamscape was so surreal that it shouldn't have surprised Hope that she was able to cry herself to sleep there. But she did, and she was, and when she woke up, it took her a moment to get her bearings on which world she was in. Everything in the room was neatly placed away, and not a thing was out of place. Except for the few pieces of clothing that still lay about the floor. It was as her eyes moved about the room, taking in the clothes on the floor, the furnishings and the décor in general that a light from under a door caught her eye, and the sound of running water reached her ears, and Hope knew exactly which world she was in. Her dreamscape. Where nothing could harm her or Ryan from the real world. Slipping out from under the covers, Hope tiptoed across the bedroom and slipped into the bathroom, expecting to find Ryan, but finding it empty.

"No." Hope whispered to herself, horrified by the thought that something had actually gotten to Ryan.

"Hope?"

Hope spun around at Ryan's voice and let out a small cry of relief as she flung her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. A kiss that he returned with equal fervor. A kiss that had Ryan walking Hope backwards into the shower until her back collided with the wall. When Ryan moved his lips away from Hope's and started trailing them along her jaw and down her neck, Hope let out a soft sound that was a cross between a moan and a sigh. That sound turned to a gasp when Ryan lightly bit Hope's pulse point.

"Ryan..." Hope breathed out.

"Please don't tell me you're waking up, Sweetheart. I'm not finished with you yet." Ryan said with a sigh as he moved to rest his forehead on Hope's shoulder.

"No... I wasn't going to say that." Hope replied with a frown.

"Then what were you going to say?" Ryan asked.

"I was scared that something had happened to you. I'm just really happy that you're okay." Hope said softly.

"Hope, nothing can happen to me here. Not unless something happens to you in the real world." Ryan said as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere, Sweetheart." He added.

Those 5 words started playing on repeat in her mind. Ryan had said them so many times since she had created the dreamscape, and it had her thinking that it was symbolic or something. Until she had an idea of where to look for his body, and then how to get his consciousness back from _wherever_ it had ended up, he wasn't going to leave her heart. And then there was the fact that whenever she did wake up, she could still feel his touch and his kiss on her body. Some things that happened in this world came with her to the real world, so why was it not possible that his memory was able to be there too? Being pulled from her thoughts, Hope brought Ryan's lips to hers in a deep kiss.

"I love you, Ryan Clarke." Hope muttered against Ryan's lips.

"I love you too, Hope Mikaelson." Ryan replied and the dreamscape started to fade around them.

Hope sighed as she opened her eyes. She was back in her room at school and Lizzie was sitting on her bed, staring expectantly at her. Sitting up, Hope noticed that Kaleb was sitting over by the window, his eyes cast outside, as if expecting an attack. Raising an eyebrow at the blonde, Hope waited for her friend to say something.

"You were asleep for a whole day, Hope. You sure you're okay?" Lizzie asked, reaching out to take the older girl's hand.

"I'll be fine Lizzie." Hope replied. "And honestly, that was the best sleep I've had in a while. Probably even since before Malivore." She added.

"Were you with...?" Lizzie asked and Hope blushed.

"Yes." Hope said as she pulled a pillow onto her lap and hid her face. "I unintentionally created a dreamscape for us. It always picks up right where it left off when I wake up, or when I'm woken up, and Ryan's there, waiting for me." She explained, despite the fact that it came out muffled because of the pillow.

"I didn't catch any of that." Lizzie said.

"I did. Our girl has been getting it on with her mudman in her dreams." Kaleb commented, his gaze never leaving the window.

"Really? Tell me everything." Lizzie said, scooting closer with a gleam in her eye.

"I don't want to know anything. Unless it pertains to how we're going to get him back for you, Hope." Kaleb said.

"I have no real ideas of where to look for his body. Or even where to begin to locate his consciousness." Hope said as she laid back down and stared at the ceiling. "I have a hunch of where his body _might_ be... or more specifically, _who_ his body might be with, but I don't know where to start looking for it."

"A hunch is better than nothing, Hope." Lizzie pointed out.

"I think, somehow, Malivore has Ryan's body." Hope whispered.

"How would that even be possible? There is no indication that Malivore has had a body of his own since way, way, way before you went into the pit. How would he have Ryan's body now?" Lizzie asked.

"I don't know Liz." Hope replied with a sigh.

"Maybe we're looking for the wrong thing." Kaleb commented, finally turned towards the two girls.

"What do you mean? What else other than a huge mud monster would we be looking for?" Lizzie questioned.

"Ryan told Landon that Malivore had been creating "children" in his image, but as he continued to do so, they started to look more human. Maybe Kaleb is right. Maybe we shouldn't be looking for a mud monster. Maybe we should be looking for a human." Hope said slowly.

"What would he look like, and how would we even find him?"

"We're going to need to find video surveillance footage from the night Ryan and I went into the pit, from around Triad's location." Hope said as a warm feeling flooded her system.

They could find Ryan and bring him back to her. They could bring him home.


	5. Chapter 5

If Only In My Dreams

Chapter 5

Convincing Dr. Saltzman to allow herself, Lizzie and Kaleb to head to Georgia was near impossible without giving him a little bit of insight, and when they did give him insight, he _insisted_ that they be accompanied by an adult. And he insisted that _he be that adult_. Hope didn't like that idea, but then again, the first two times hers and Ryan's paths had ever crossed had been because she and Dr. Saltzman had been on some kind of "road trip". So maybe he was the key to them finding what they needed. Of course, they didn't tell him everything that he needed to know about this little trip of theirs, and within 20 minutes of the drive, both Hope and Lizzie were asleep, while Kaleb refused to give Dr. Saltzman any more information than they already had.

"You left me too soon, Sweetheart." Ryan commented from the bed as Hope stepped out of the bathroom.

"Can I make it up to you?" Hope asked as she moved to join him.

"Probably." Ryan said, trying to keep a straight face, but failing and smirking at her.

"You are still being an ass, Ryan." Hope said as she climbed onto the bed and curled up into Ryan's side.

Ryan didn't respond. He just wrapped his arms around Hope's body and held her close. He felt a tug at his heart to tell Hope the truth. That while this home of theirs was definitely a dream, that he definitely _wasn't_. That somehow she had saved his consciousness. But he couldn't bring himself to do so. He had tried to get her to understand that already, without actually telling her that he was, in fact, his consciousness made personified in this place that she had created.

"Hope, we both know that you created this place, but why did you create it?" Ryan asked.

"I didn't know that I had until I was here the first time." Hope admitted.

Ryan just nodded at that and fell silent again. His out of character quietness had Hope glancing up at him. His eyebrows were knitted together in concentration and he looked a little bit upset. That startled Hope, because not once since she had first entered the dreamscape the other night had she seen anything but a smile or playful smirk on Ryan's face. The slight down tilt of his lips that wasn't quite a frown had Hope remembering their last day together. Ryan had been frowning a lot that day. She briefly considered that he was real, because he certainly felt real, but she shook that thought away. There was no way that this was actually Ryan. Moving to straddle Ryan's lap, Hope took his face into her hands and pressed her lips to his.

"What's wrong, babe?" She asked softly.

"Why me, Hope? Why do you imagine a life with me? I've done more horrible things to you than good, yet you imagine a life for us together." Ryan inquired, his voice pained, breaking Hope's heart.

"Yes, you've done horrible things, but that doesn't make you a horrible person Ryan. And I love you. So why _wouldn't_ I imagine a life with you?" Hope asked tilting her head to the side as she ran her hands up and down Ryan's chest.

"Hope!" Ryan snapped suddenly, grabbing her wrists. "I'm sorry." He added immediately at her wide eyed expression. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you wanting a life with me, but I can't help thinking that you've been building this place in your mind for a while. It's too intricate for it to have been a sudden thing when you went to sleep the other night. There's pictures all over the house of us together that show years' worth of a relationship. We're engaged here, but we are exactly as we were in the real world." He said.

"Why does there have to be specific reason, Ryan?" Hope asked in a small voice as she twisted her hands in his to lace their fingers together.

"Hope, I've never had anyone do something like this for me. So I can't help the nagging in the back of my mind that there's an ulterior motive. I don't want there to be any other motive other than you loving me, but I just need to know, Hope." Ryan said as he brought Hope's wrist to his lips and pressed a kiss to it.

"The only thing that I can think of is that I made it subconsciously as a safe place to keep your memory. A safe place to come when I slept so I'm not plagued by nightmares. As far as _when_ I started creating it, I really don't know." Hope said as she slid down Ryan's body so that she was laying on top of him, with her head on his chest, resting above his heart.

"Fuck, Hope." Ryan groaned.

"Did I do something wrong, baby?" Hope asked as she looked up at him and bit her lower lip.

"Wrong? No. Teasing? Yes." Ryan said as he pulled Hope back into a sitting position on his lap and rested his hands on her hips.

Hope pouted before resting her hands on Ryan's chest and leaned down to press her lips to his in a soft kiss. When Ryan didn't respond to the kiss like he usually did, Hope pulled back with a frown. Something seemed to still be bothering him, but nothing she did was helping. With a sigh, Hope climbed off of Ryan's lap and moved to her side of the bed, turning her back to him. With her right hand under the pillow, supporting her head, Hope stared at, and fiddled with, her engagement ring. She felt more than heard Ryan moving behind her back, before he was leaning over her and pressing a kiss to her neck.

"I'll be right back, Sweetheart." Ryan commented.

"Mhm." Hope hummed.

Ryan pulled the covers up over Hope's body before climbing out of bed and pulling on a pair of pajama pants and heading downstairs to the kitchen. He hadn't been sure of what he had seen over Hope's shoulder when Hope had been on top of him, but seeing the young vampire standing in the kitchen, Ryan knew that he had seen him correctly. Kaleb had definitely shown up.

**Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies**

"Why did you pull out so quickly?" Lizzie asked sleepily.

"Girl... just, no." Kaleb said as he gave Lizzie a look before his eyes darted to Hope.

Lizzie looked between her sleeping best friend, and the vampire, and then it clicked in her sleep idled mind. Hope dreamt about Ryan. Kaleb had seen them _actually_ having sex, or at least close to it. Turning her head to the side to hide her smirk, Lizzie cleared her throat.

"We need to wake her up. She knows more about all of this than any of us." Lizzie commented.

"I'm confused. You did the head dive, why isn't she waking up?" Alaric asked.

"She wasn't in a position to be woken up." Kaleb replied awkwardly.

"Guys, I need to know what we're looking for here. And neither of you will tell me anything helpful. We need Hope to wake up." Alaric said. "And soon." He added when they passed the 'Welcome to Georgia' Stateline sign.

"She was uh, having a _really good_ dream. And it's not like we _need_ her to wake up right now." Kaleb replied. "We just need her awake once we get to where we're going." He added.

"Get back in there." Lizzie commented.

Kaleb gave Lizzie another look, but simply shook his head. Taking Hope's hands again, he went back into her mind. He just really hoped he _wouldn't_ be ending up back in the bedroom.

**Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies**

"Kaleb, right? What the hell are you doing here?" Ryan asked in a low voice.

"Trying to wake Hope up." Kaleb replied. "Didn't mean to intrude on you two doing the nasty." He added.

"We weren't..." Ryan started before sighing. "I'll go tell Hope that she needs to wake up. Please leave... and don't come back. Hope might freak out if she knows anyone can show up here." He said.

"This place is dope. Our girl has some mad skill, but tell me somethin'... how are we able to have a conversation if Hope's dreaming about you?" Kaleb asked.

"She's not _our_ girl. She's _mine_." Ryan growled. "And she's not. She thinks she is, which is easier for her to believe than me telling her the truth, which is something I can't explain." He added.

"Does she know how possessive you are of her?" Kaleb asked with a raised eyebrow.

"That's none of your business." Ryan said.

With a nod, Kaleb left and Ryan let out a sigh. He needed to tell Hope the truth before her friend did. It would be better coming from him than from someone else. And to hell with not being able to explain the _how_, just that he told her the truth, and she believed him. But when Ryan got back up to the bedroom, all thoughts and intentions of just coming out and telling Hope the truth flew from his head when he found Hope kneeling on the bed, naked and biting her lip.

"What are you doing, Sweetheart?" Ryan asked with an amused smile as he leaned against the doorframe and folded his arms across his chest.

"Waiting for you. Everything okay?" Hope questioned, beckoning him closer.

"Yeah, just needed to get something to drink." Ryan replied as he crossed the room to the bed and wrapped his arms around Hope's waist.

"So you're not getting bored of me?"

"I could never get bored of you, Hope. For starters, I don't think that's possible in a dreamscape."

That word. Dreamscape. It packed a punch to Ryan's gut as he gave Hope a light kiss and pulled away from her. With a confused frown, Hope lowered herself until she was sitting on the bed, looking up at the man she loved. He claimed that he wasn't getting bored with her, but everything since she had come back to him this time had felt different. Like he wasn't happy here anymore.

"You need to wake up, Hope." Ryan said as he moved to climb under the covers.

"I don't want to wake up. I want to stay here with you." Hope responded as she moved to straddle his lap.

"I want that too. But your friends need you to wake up." Ryan commented slowly.

"How would you know that?" Hope asked. "You didn't go downstairs to get something to drink, did you?"

"No, I didn't."

"Then why _did_ you go downstairs?"

"Your friend Kaleb was here. He first showed up when we were making out, and he just as quickly disappeared as he had appeared, but on a hunch, I went downstairs, and he was in the kitchen."

"Kaleb can get here?"

"Yes."

"Then I need to make this place more secure. If Kaleb can get here, then anyone can. And this was supposed to be a safe place for you. For us."

Hope moved off of Ryan's lap and made her way straight to the closet to pull something on. Despite realizing that Hope was starting to spiral, Ryan couldn't help the smirk that tugged at his lips as Hope pulled one of his shirts over her head, instead of something of hers. He really liked seeing her wearing nothing but a shirt of his. But when Hope moved towards the door, Ryan quickly got out of bed and followed her downstairs and towards a bookshelf in the living room.

"What are you looking for, Hope?" Ryan asked.

"A grimoire. There has to be one here. I can't imagine creating this dreamscape as a safe place for us, and not having thought to make sure a grimoire was here. Because whatever happens in my life, I'm a witch, first and foremost, and I'm never going to give that up. So there has to be _at least_ one." Hope replied as she moved to the bookshelf on the opposite side of the TV.

Seemingly finding what she was looking for, Ryan watched as Hope pulled a very heavy looking book off of one of the shelves before sitting down on the floor and tucking her legs under her. Not knowing what to do to help, if there even was anything that he could do to help, but feeling like standing was just awkward, Ryan sat down on the edge of the coffee table, simply taking in the sight of the woman he loved searching for a way to better keep him safe.

**Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies**

Lizzie watched Hope's face intently as Kaleb dropped the tribrid's hands. The blonde expected her friend to immediately start stirring awake, but when Hope remained asleep, Lizzie became concerned. Locking eyes with Kaleb, the two shared a private, silent, conversation as Alaric's eyes darted from one teen to the next, waiting for _something_ to happen that would give him a clue as to what the three of them had going on.

"Did you convince her to wake up?" Alaric asked irritably.

"It's in the works." Kaleb replied vaguely.

Alaric shot the young vampire a sharp glare before pulling over and turning the car off. He could see the field that he had once woken up in, with no memory of how he had gotten there, up ahead, but he refused to drive another inch before one of the teenagers in the car started talking. Lizzie noticed the hard set of her father's eyes and gulped audibly. Placing a hand on Hope's shoulder, the blonde Siphoner lightly shook her friend, the only normal attempt to wake the other girl up.

**Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies**

Hope looked up the grimoire on her lap when there was a light shaking of the house. With a whimper, Hope returned her gaze to the pages of the book, trying to find a protection spell that she could easily magnify to protect this place. Not of the ones that she was finding worked. They were all about to protect physical objects. Not mental dreamscapes. By the time she got to the end of the book, and had found nothing useful, Hope looked up at Ryan with tears in her eyes.

"I can't keep you safe. If Kaleb can show up here, then there's a chance that your father can too." Hope said, her bottom lip quivering as she tried to fight back the tears.

"Hey, you have done everything you can to keep me safe. You didn't let the Krampus kill me, and you made this place for us. You have shown me more love in just a couple of days than I've ever experienced over the centuries that I've been alive, combined. Keeping me in your heart and keeping my memory..." Ryan trailed off as he moved to lay Hope down and hover over her. "Keeping my memory alive in this place, that's more than I could ever ask you to do. And if my father crosses you, I'm sure your friends will keep you safe so that you can continue to keep me safe."

"Ryan..." Hope whimpered. "I can't lose you. I refuse to lose you. I saw what my father went through when my mom died. I will not allow myself to have realized too late that I lost my Mate." She said as she wrapped herself around Ryan's body and pulled him down.  
"You're not going to lose me, Sweetheart. You're going to wake up, and you and your friends are going to find my body." Ryan replied while pressing against Hope's center.

"Make love to me one more time before I wake up." Hope said.

"The longer we hold off on you waking up, the greater the chance of Kaleb returning and seeing something none of us want him to see." Ryan commented, leaning down and capturing Hope's lips in a kiss.

Hope pouted. Wrapping her arms and legs tighter around Ryan's body, Hope buried her face in his neck and took a deep breath. With a kiss to his neck, and a murmured 'I love you' in his ear, Hope allowed herself to wake up. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted with 3 very different reactions: Kaleb was avoiding eye contact with her, Dr. Saltzman was giving her an annoyed and exasperated look, and Lizzie... well, Lizzie was giving her a look that was asking for all of the details. Ignoring her friend for the time being, Hope met Dr. Saltzman's gaze with a leveled one of her own.

"Are we at Triad?" Hope asked.

"Nearly. But I refused to drive the last bit of distance until I either got something out of these two, or until you woke up. Now tell me what the hell we're looking for here." Alaric replied.

"We have a hunch of what happened to Malivore after Ryan and I went into the pit. We need video surveillance to confirm our suspicions and then we're going to track his movements and take him down." Hope replied.

"And why couldn't I have been informed of this before we left the school?" Alaric asked.

"Because you wouldn't have let us come if we had told you. This is something that I need to do, Dr. Saltzman. Lizzie and Kaleb have offered to help me." Hope explained. "So we're starting inside Triad." She added.

"Like hell you are. The last time you were here, Hope, we lost you for nearly 7 months." Alaric argued.

"5 months." Hope corrected.

"I'm counting the 2 months prior to Josie giving everyone back our memories of you."

"I'm not asking for your permission to do this, Dr. Saltzman. I need to find Ryan, and the only way I can think of doing that is by tracking Malivore's movements after Ryan and I went into the pit."

"What even makes you think that you'll find anything after all this time?"

Hope glanced between the other 3. None of them knew. Landon hadn't said anything. Maybe he didn't even know. Which would make sense, she had snapped his neck before anything really happened. But he had woken up and the pit had been empty, hadn't it? So what the hell did he think happened? Of course, Landon probably didn't even have a clue. The two people that he talked to last before he woke up in a pile of ashes had both gone into the pit. Up until just a week or so ago, Landon probably hadn't even remembered that Malivore was his father.

"I tried to sacrifice myself to stop Malivore. I'm the only one of my kind. The only being with blood from all three protected species. But since I haven't activated my Vampire side yet, it didn't work. Malivore didn't just 'disappear' and Landon sure as hell didn't defeat him. Malivore wants to possess Landon's body so that he can continue his bloodline without risking permanent death. Since Landon can regenerate, Malivore's plan is to use Landon as a meat puppet. But think about it... if Triad had any inkling that Malivore still existed, don't you think they would have shown up at the school, demanding answers? That's exactly what he would want them to think. That he was defeated. So he's buying himself time, trying to figure out a way to complete his plan of taking over Landon's body. And to buy himself time, I think he's posing as a human." Hope explained.

"Hey... I thought of it." Kaleb said quickly.

"Right, Kaleb was the one to suggest that we've been looking for the wrong thing. And then when Lizzie asked what else we could be looking for other than a giant mud monster, I remembered what Landon had said that Ryan had told him. That as Malivore continued to create his "children" in his image, that they started to look more and more human." Hope corrected. "So there's a chance that he is using a human visage to fly under everyone's radar. So if we can get security footage of the night that Ryan and I went into the pit, then we can see what happened between then and when Landon woke up, and we should be able to retrace his steps." She added.

"There's more that you aren't telling me." Alaric commented.

"That's all you need to know right now, Dr. Saltzman. The rest is my personal business." Hope replied.

"Fine. It's better than what you have given me up until this point." Alaric said with a sigh.

With a sigh of her own, Hope could have sworn that she felt Ryan's lips pressing a kiss against her temple, and she closed her eyes briefly at the sensation. Step one in hunting down Malivore and finding Ryan's body was underway and she had faith that she would be truly reunited with him soon enough.

"I love you Ryan." Hope whispered to herself.

"_I love you too, Hope._"


	6. Chapter 6

If Only In My Dreams

Chapter 6

The second Dr. Saltzman was bringing the car to a stop at Triad Industries, Hope was already climbing out of the back seat and heading towards the building. She felt a slight tug in her mind to stay back, and Hope was glad that she listened because once the others caught up to her, and she took a steadying breath, Hope realize that there was something wrong with the sight in front of her. Slowly raising her hand in front of her, Hope was met with a barrier spell. Glancing at Lizzie, Hope nodded towards the invisible barrier and offered the blonde her hand, and Lizzie siphoned the magic. What they saw when the illusion that had been woven into the barrier spell dropped had Hope getting pissed off.

Triad was gone. Destroyed. Burnt down. No trace of the former final resting place of Malivore other than a lingering smell of burnt earth. Lingering. That's the word that Hope's mind caught onto. The burning down of Triad was recent. It had to be. Within a week or so, meaning they might still be able to find something, _anything_, that could lead them in the direction that Malivore went after she and Ryan had gone into the pit.

"_Be careful, Sweetheart. There's no way that Triad just stopped what they were doing._"

Hope nodded unperceptively at Ryan's words of warning. Man, she was starting to lose it. She and Lizzie would definitely have to sit down and talk about what the signs were of her possibly going crazy if she was hearing Ryan's words in her head as if he was standing right next to her. Slowly stepping forward, Hope led her friends and Dr. Saltzman towards the remains of the structure. As they got closer, Hope started to take in more of the charred bits of building that littered the clearing, only upon closer examination, she realized that they weren't bits of the building, but actually human bodies burnt to death.

"Oh my god."

"What's wrong?" Alaric asked and Hope glanced at the others.

"These are Triad agents. All of them. Burnt to death." Hope commented.

"Why would anyone from Triad turn on their own people?" Kaleb questioned.

"That would be a great question for us to ask MG's mom when we get back to Virginia." Hope muttered.

"There's no way in hell, I'm telling my boy that his mom's messed up in this kind of shit." Kaleb said as he carefully stepped around one of the burnt bodies.

"I'm sure he already knows. Veronica was at the school when Triad showed up." Alaric said.

"How would you know, you showed up well after almost everything had gone down. I was already taking off to go save Landon's ass when you got there." Hope replied.

"Let's just get what we came here for." Alaric said, ushering them all towards the building.

As they stepped inside, Hope's stomach flipped over and she had to cover her mouth to stifle the scream that was threatening to fall. What used to be a corridor was so overcrowded with more dead bodies that she could barely see the floor. The sinking feeling that Ryan's body could be somewhere in this mess had tears filling her eyes, and she quickly pushed it to the side. She could still feel him being alive. His body wasn't here. She just needed to get through all of this to be able find his body. Before she could process moving through the bodies, Hope found herself in the pit chamber. The deep hole in the ground where Malivore used to be, taunted her. As if to say that was what was left of her relationship with Ryan. Something that she refused to accept.

"Hope. The computers and everything are still working. Let's see what we can find." Lizzie said as she lightly tugged on Hope's arm.

"I'll be there in a second." Hope replied as she moved towards the exact spot she and Ryan had gone over the railing.

Resting her hand on the rail, Hope closed her eyes and sought out Ryan in her dreamscape.

"You shouldn't be at Triad, Hope." Ryan commented as he pulled her onto his lap on the couch.

"I'm trying to retrace Malivore's steps from the night we went into the pit." Hope replied as she curled up against his chest.

"I saw what happened there, Hope. Through your eyes. Please don't go diving headfirst into danger to try and find my body." Ryan begged.

"I'm not trying to, Ryan, but how else am I supposed to find you? Find your body? If my friends and I can track Malivore from that night, then I can find your body and keep it safe while I search for your consciousness." Hope said while gripping his shoulders.

"I told you Hope, if something happens to you in the real world, I'm lost. Please promise me that you'll be careful. I can't lose you, Sweetheart." Ryan said, brushing some of Hope's hair behind her ear before tilting her chin up and pressing his lips to hers in a deep kiss.

"I promise to be careful. I'll find your body, and your consciousness, and I'll bring you back to me so that we can start working towards this life." Hope promised against his lips.

"And a family." Ryan added.

"But I thought you couldn't father children?" Hope asked.

"We'll figure something out. We have to make use of the crib in the other bedroom upstairs. Whether that means you carry our children, or we adopt, we will figure out a way to have a family of our own." Ryan explained as he shifted them on the couch so that Hope was laying on her back and he was hovering over her.

"You're not going to try and get me to wake up?" Hope asked as she watched Ryan slowly push her shirt up and press hot, open mouth kisses to her stomach.

"You asked me to make love to you before. And I denied you." Ryan replied simply as he pushed the shirt further up Hope's body and pulled it over her head. "I'm not going to deny you again." He added before capturing one of her breasts in his mouth.

Letting out a moan, Hope reached down and pushed the waistband of Ryan's pants down his hips. She needed him inside of her. Pulling Ryan up her body, Hope pressed her lips to his and wrapped her legs around his waist. As Ryan pushed into Hope's pussy, he laced their fingers together and moved to hold her hands above her head in one hand so that his other hand could roam about her body.

"Ryan..." Hope moaned out.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" Ryan muttered as he kissed along her jaw.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies**

Lizzie watched Hope intently as her friend closed her eyes before gripping the railing with both hands. Something told the blonde that the last time Hope had been standing at that railing, she had been propelling herself and Ryan over it. The night that she sacrificed herself to save the people that she loved, only to get stuck in nothingness with Ryan for 5 months. Lizzie couldn't begin to even attempt to understand what Hope had gone through during those 5 months. Or what Ryan had gone through during that time. Or the time before. All Lizzie could wish for was that Hope was going to be okay. That they would find what they were looking for here, and they could start tracking down Malivore to get Ryan's body back. That Malivore actually _had_ Ryan's body for them to get it back.

"How's she doing?" Kaleb asked as he came to stand next to Lizzie.

"I can't tell if she's fighting back the memories of the last time she was here, or if she's slipped into a daydream to be with Ryan. Frankly, I wouldn't blame her for either option. The last time she was here she was sacrificing herself for all of us. And currently, this place is horrific." Lizzie replied.

"Well, Dr. S is ready for her, so one of us has to go over there. And I sure as hell ain't goin' back in her head after earlier. I promised her mudman that I wouldn't, and I already have them doin' the nasty burned into my brain." Kaleb said as he lightly nudged Lizzie forward.

"I won't like, go in her head, will I?" Lizzie asked, biting her lip.

"You ain't a vampire, Liz. You're not doin' a head dive, you're just letting her know that we're ready for her." Kaleb replied.

"Okay... here goes nothing." Lizzie said, taking a deep breath and walking over to her best friend. "Hope? We're ready for you." She said as she placed her hand on Hope's shoulder.

**Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies**

"_Hope? We're ready for you._"

Hope groaned as Lizzie's voice floated towards her. She didn't want to leave Ryan. Especially since they were still in middle of something, but Ryan clearly heard Lizzie's voice as well, and he stopped moving inside her.

"Don't stop. Please don't stop, Ryan." Hope begged.

"Your friends need you, Sweetheart." Ryan replied with a kiss to her neck.

"They can wait." Hope said as she pulled him back up to press their lips together.

"The longer you stay here, Hope, the longer it'll take for you to find my body and save me." Ryan muttered against her lips.

Hope pouted. Of course he would use that. Now she was torn. Stay here, continuing to make love to the man that she loved, or go back to the real world where she was standing in the ruins of Triad Industries in the very spot that she had forced the man she loved to relive the worst part of his life. Go back to where she was surrounded by dead bodies, all burnt to death, with no idea who killed them all, or where that person or creature was. With a sigh against Ryan's lips, Hope slowly sat up as Ryan moved off of her and pulled his pants back up.

"I'll see you soon, Sweetheart." Ryan said with a kiss to the top of her head.

Hope watched Ryan walk out of the room and up the stairs. She could sense how upset that he was about her constantly having to leave. And it wasn't like she wanted to leave. Grabbing Ryan's shirt off of the floor, Hope pulled it back on and brought her knees to her chest. She desperately wanted to be able to bring him with her into the real world, but she couldn't. He wasn't real, and his body and consciousness were both still missing. With silent tears falling down her cheeks, Hope closed her eyes and when she opened them again, she was back at Triad Industries, her vision blurred from her tears as Lizzie pulled her in for a hug.

"We'll get him back, Hope. I promise. Kaleb and I won't stop helping you get him back." Lizzie whispered.

"Thank you." Hope whispered back before locking eyes with Kaleb over Lizzie's shoulder.

"That's what friends are for, Hope." Lizzie commented and Kaleb nodded in agreement.

Pulling away from the hug, Hope took Lizzie's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze before making her way into the control room where Dr. Saltzman was staring at one of the monitors as the footage rewound to the night that Hope and Ryan had been wiped from the collective conscious. Once her eyes locked on the image of her and Ryan falling, Hope stopped the video and then started playing it again.

"Wait... you used a mimic spell on Ryan?" Lizzie asked.

"I didn't know what he would do if I didn't take him into the pit with me. I didn't trust him at that point. So yeah, I used the mimic spell. I used it on him one more time when we were inside Malivore." Hope replied as she blinked back tears.

"Wait... the recording just skipped. You two went in, and then it cuts to when Landon's waking up." Kaleb commented. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know..." Hope replied as she rewound the recording again and then hit play.

When the video skipped again, Hope screamed. How was she supposed to find Ryan's body now? Clearly someone from Triad, most likely MG's mom, had to have erased what happened to Malivore. Or maybe...

"Is there anywhere on this thing that we can download the footage onto something else and have someone at school see about retrieving the erased part?" Hope asked.

"Even if there was, we don't have anything to download it onto." Lizzie replied.

"Actually we do. I have a few external hard drives in the jeep." Alaric replied.

"Seriously dad? Why would you have those?" Lizzie asked.

"For instances such as this. Kaleb, will you please go grab them from the car?" Alaric replied.

"Sure thing, Dr. S."

As Kaleb ran out to the car, Hope continued to rewind and play the recording, hoping that she would find something. When Kaleb returned a couple of minutes later, and she still hadn't found anything useful, Hope pushed away from the desk and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. She thought that she would be moving along with the plan to find Ryan's body by now, but this was preventing her from doing that. So now she was back at square one if the one person at the school that was good with this sort of thing ended up not being able to help them. Leaning against the wall by the door, Hope slid down until she was fully sitting, holding her head in her hands as she fought against the tears that were burning her eyes.

"I'm sorry Ryan. I've barely started trying to find your body, and I've already started to fail." Hope muttered under her breath.

"_It's okay, Sweetheart. You'll figure it out. I believe in you._"

"Hope? Would you like some company? Or at least a shoulder to lean on?" Lizzie asked.

"Yes please." Hope replied with a nod. "Lizzie... I don't know how to ask this without it coming out sounding insensitive... but how would I even know if I was starting to go crazy?" She asked in a low voice once the blonde had sat down.

"I thought you said that you weren't going crazy?" Lizzie inquired.

"I didn't think I was... but I, uh, I think I might be now. I'm hearing Ryan's voice as clear as if he's right next to me." Hope explained. "As clear as your voice is right now." She added.

"Maybe with as much as you've been sleeping over the last few days, and spending time in your dreams with Ryan, the voice in your head that usually sounds like yourself has just switched to sounding like him. For what it's worth, Hope, it doesn't sound like you're going crazy to me." Lizzie said as she wrapped her arm around the older girl's shoulders.

"Thank you Liz."

Lizzie just nodded as she pulled Hope in for a hug. After everything that the Tribrid had already been through in life, starting to go crazy at this point was just too much. Lizzie didn't want her best friend to suffer any more. She deserved the chance to be in a really good relationship for once. Because as far as Lizzie could tell, Hope was much happier in this quasi-relationship she had with Ryan in her dreams than she ever had been with Landon, or even Roman, no matter how short lived the relationship had been with the vampire. As she sat there, silently comforting her friend, Lizzie couldn't help her eyes from continuously drifting over to Kaleb. Unlike two other vampires that she knew, Kaleb had never once led her to believe that she was going crazy... or crazier... so maybe he was worth going on a date with and seeing where things went... if he was interesting in going on a date with her, that was. And only once they helped Hope get Ryan back.

"Okay, everything from the servers that we can gather has been downloaded, let's head back to school." Alaric said. "Kaleb, please get the girls back to the car, and I'll be right behind you." He added.

"What's wrong, Dad?" Lizzie asked as she took Kaleb's offered hand and stood up.

"I'm just going to secure the area. Now go with Kaleb." Alaric replied.

"Dr. Saltzman let's just all go, now. I don't want to know who or what killed these agents, and despite previous actions possibly proving the contrary, you're needed at the school." Hope said as Kaleb and Lizzie helped her up. "Whatever did this could be waiting for us to come back out, and if it is, we'll need your crossbow." She added.

"Really, Hope? Last time Dad tried to use his crossbow, you told him that he was man-spread in front of three powerful witches." Lizzie commented.

"That's because he was. But we're down a witch without Josie, and I'm not really feeling all that great right now, being back here, so I don't think I'll be of much help." Hope replied as wrapped her arms around her middle.

"Kaleb get Hope to the car. I'll be fine with my dad." Lizzie said and Hope allowed the vampire to lift her into his arms. "What aren't you telling us?" She asked once she was sure Kaleb was out of ear shot.

"I don't think we're alone. I think Hope if very much correct that whoever, or whatever, killed those agents is still around, and I can't help this feeling that somehow, Clarke is behind it." Alaric said.

"Ryan is gone, Dad. At least for now. The location of his consciousness is unknown and Hope firmly believes that Malivore has his body. How could he behind this if his body and consciousness aren't together?" Lizzie asked, defensive on her best friend's behalf.

"I've been dealing with the Supernatural goings on since well before you were born; I've learned to trust my gut." Alaric commented.

"Because your gut's never wrong about someone." Lizzie retorted before turned around and followed behind Kaleb and Hope.

Alaric took a deep breath and followed after his daughter. She had a point, but he wasn't going to dwell on that. He wasn't going to dwell on how much he had allowed Damon to get away with doing simply because they became friends.

**Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies**

When Kaleb placed her feet on the ground by the car, Hope quietly climbed into the backseat and laid down. Her head was spinning, and she felt nauseous. Something was wrong, but she couldn't figure out what it was. Closing her eyes, she tried to breathe deeply to calm her stomach and her mind but doing so only propelled her forward and out of the car before throwing up. She needed to get away from Triad Industries. As Kaleb gently rubbed her back, Hope caught sight of Lizzie storming out of the building with Dr. Saltzman hurrying after her. When they saw Hope hunched over and Kaleb trying to calm her down, the father and daughter duo rushed to her side.

"What happened?" Lizzie insisted.

"I don't know. She was shaking as I brought her out her and after laying down and closing eyes, she was bolting out of the car and throwing up. We need to get her out of her, Dr. S." Kaleb said.

"Everyone in the car." Alaric said with a nod. "Hope sit forward with your head between your knees. Lizzie keep her calm." He instructed as he tossed the hard drives into the back of the car and then got into the driver's seat.

Once everyone was situated in the car, Dr. Saltzman sped away from the destruction that lay behind them. The only problem was that even though distance was being put between her and Triad Industries, Hope wasn't feeling any better, and she couldn't reach Ryan.


	7. Chapter 7

If Only In My Dreams

Chapter 7

Hope didn't remember falling asleep. Nor did she remember making it to her room when she, Lizzie, Kaleb and Dr. Saltzman got back to the school. Hell, she didn't even remember getting _back_ to the school. What she did remember was the nauseating lack of safety that she felt, and not being able to reach Ryan. Why hadn't she been able to reach him when she had closed her eyes? But as she slowly opened her eyes and sat up, Hope let out a sigh. Lizzie was lying next to her, and Kaleb was sitting by the window again. A sense of déjà vu washed over her, but she kept her mouth shut about it. Kaleb must have heard the change in her heartbeat, because as Hope's hands fell into her lap after pushing herself into an upright sitting position, the vampire turned towards her with a look of worry on his face.

"What happened out there, Hope?" Kaleb asked, his voice low, but carrying over to her in the otherwise silent room.

"I don't know. Before I went into the control room, I was back with Ryan, in my dreamscape, and everything was fine. And then after that... nothing. I felt empty, like something was missing. And when we left, I couldn't get back to him. Kaleb, I think something happened to me while we were at Triad Industries, and I think the dreamscape, which I made to keep Ryan's memory safe, I think it was destroyed, or tampered with." Hope said before biting her lower lip in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.

"Hey, don't think like that. The last time you were at that place, you were trying to sacrifice yourself to save the people that you love. It's probably just a case of PTSD." Kaleb said as he moved to Hope's side in a blink of an eye. "You went through something traumatic last time and being back there just rattled you." He added. "Just close your eyes, take some deep breaths and relax, and I'm sure you'll be able to get back to your mud man."

"Thank you, Kaleb." Hope said before she did as he suggested.

After taking a few deep breaths, Hope slowly opened her eyes to find herself staring into the concerned gaze of Ryan.

"You left me alone." Hope whispered as her eyes filled with hot tears.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart. That wasn't my intention. At least, probably not in the way you're thinking." Ryan replied as he pulled her into a sitting position then onto his lap.

"What did you do?" Hope asked.

"I blocked the connection." Ryan replied and quickly continued when he saw the hurt in Hope's eyes. "I saw what had happened to Triad, and to those agents, Hope. I told you that earlier. But no one knew who or what had caused that destruction. I didn't want to risk the safe haven that you've created for us here by allowing your mind to be vulnerable to my father, if he was behind everything. So until I was sure that you were safely away from him, I blocked you from getting here."

"I felt like I was alone, Ryan. Like I wasn't at my full strength or the peak of my power. I felt like I was missing a part of myself. Like how my father explained having one's werewolf side bound. I felt like a liability to my friends, Ryan. I hate feeling like that." Hope said as the tears overflowed and her vision blurred.

"I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. That was definitely not my intention. I wanted to protect us from my father, and I didn't stop to think how that would make you feel in the real world." Ryan said as he wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "Can you forgive me?" He asked while leaning in and nuzzling her neck.

"Eventually. Right now I need to let myself be upset that you left me feeling vulnerable." Hope replied as she wrapped her arms tightly around Ryan's neck.

"Fair enough. Can I at least bring you upstairs to bed?" He asked.

"Yes."

As Ryan stood up, Hope wrapped her legs around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. It wasn't the most comfortable way for Ryan to carry her upstairs, but it was the way that Hope needed to be held in that moment. As they reached the top of the stairs, and went to pass the second bedroom, Hope stopped Ryan and unwrapped herself from around him, and stepped into the room. Weaving her way through the few stacks of boxes, Hope stopped at the crib and ran her fingers over the wood. Wrapping her arms around her stomach, Hope started shaking as tears fell from her eyes. Ryan was by her side, pulling her into his embrace in seconds, whispering words of encouragement and rubbing her back soothingly.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?" Ryan asked softly.

"This was my crib when I was a baby. My dad built it for me." Hope whispered as she buried her face in Ryan's chest.

"And one day in the future, it'll be the crib that our baby sleeps in." Ryan replied softly.

"Not if I can't find your body. The footage from the night we went into the pit... it's been tampered with. It cuts from us going in, to Landon waking up, and the pit being empty." Hope said sullenly as she pulled back enough to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"I have the utmost faith that you and your friends will figure it out." Ryan commented.

"We downloaded everything we could from the servers at Triad onto external hard drives. There's one guy as school who's great at tech stuff, so I'm hoping he'll be able to recover the erased footage." Hope said, wrapping her arms around Ryan's waist and staring at the crib.

"Would you be upset if I told you I've thought of names?" Ryan whispered.

"You have?" Hope asked.

"I have. I need to do something to occupy my time when you're in the land of the awake." Ryan replied with a soft smile as he led her away from the crib and into their room.

"What names have you picked?"

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"Well, that really depends on what the names are."

"Fair enough. To honor your father, either Nicholas, or Nicole. And to honor your mother, Andre, or Andrea."

"How do you know my mother's birth name?"

"I'm in your head, Hope, remember? But aside from that, one of the things I found while exploring the house was a birth announcement for you. _'Niklaus Mikaelson and Andrea Labonair announce the birth of their daughter, Hope Andrea Mikaelson.'_ I hope you're not upset that I found that."

"How can I...? It doesn't exist in the real world."

Ryan took a sharp breath as Hope pulled her knees up to her chest. Clearly there was still things that he needed to learn about the woman he loved. Moving to lean back against the pillows, Ryan gently pulled up to hold her against his side. Wrapping an arm around Hope's shoulders, Ryan ran his fingers through her hair while lacing their fingers together with his other hand. There was so much pain that she had gone through in her life that he wanted to be able to fix, just so she would feel better, but he doubted that if he had the power to go back and change the tragedies in her past, that Hope would still be the same woman that he had fallen in love with. So the only thing that he could do now was hold her when she got upset and wait patiently for her to be ready to tell him what she was upset about.

"My birth wasn't a conventional one." Hope said a few minutes later, breaking the silence with a shuddering breath. "The French Quarter Witches... they were communing with the Spirits... and my grandmother, my dad's mom, she was telling them to kill me. They took my mom and induced her labor. When my dad showed up to try and save her, one of the witches used magic to hold him against the wall as I was delivered. The witch that was in charge, she allowed my mom to hold me for a moment before my mom's throat was slit by one of the other witches." She explained as a fresh wave of tears burst through.

"Shh, it's okay Sweetheart. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere." Ryan reassured her.

"The witches took me to the center of the cemetery to try and sacrifice me. I wasn't told the whole story, but I was told that my adopted older brother, Marcel, he saved me. But because of a lot of other things that were going on in the city at that time, my family decided it was best if everyone believed I had died when I was only a few hours old. My family compelled anyone who knew the truth to believe that I had died, including Marcel. My Aunt Rebekah raised me for the first 6 months or so of my life." Hope continued.

"So you're parents weren't able to celebrate your birth." Ryan concluded.

"No, they weren't. Instead of celebrating it, they had to be seen grieving my supposed death to keep me safe."

"I'm so sorry, Hope."

"I've spent most of my life with at least one parent gone. I should be used to it by now, but it still hurts. They both died because of me."

"You are not to blame for your mother's death. Or your father's."

"I attacked my mom with magic and had a hybrid that I sired carry her to the attic of Saint Anne's church. I placed a cloaking spell on her that I created, and then the guy that I had a crush on, on his mother's orders, tricked me into letting him get close. I invited him into my family's home, and when he brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear, he was able to see into my mind, because he was a vampire. He abducted my mom, and then eventually brought me to where she was being held. They had tortured her, mutilated her by cutting off the skin that held her birthmark, and then once I was there, got her to agree to bind her werewolf side to keep me safe. But because she was a hybrid, after having died with my vampire blood in her system when I was born, binding her werewolf side made her a vampire."

"And hybrids don't need daylight rings, so your mother didn't have one." Ryan concluded.

"No, she didn't. And thinking back on it, they probably chose to bind her werewolf side in the middle of the day for that very reason. The vampires that were involved all had daylight rings. So they probably figured that if they bound her werewolf side during the day, and then took me somewhere else, she wouldn't be able to protect me. That if they took me, they would have a decent head start on my mom. Because she would only be able to follow at night." Hope continued, with a shiver. "When she, uh, when she died, I had been unconscious, so all I know about it is what my father told me. But she um, she ripped the finger with the daylight ring off of my crush's mom's hand, and flung both of them out into the sun, and they both died instantly."

The second the last two words fell from Hope's lips, her body started shaking with silent sobs, and Ryan pulled her onto his lap and gently rocked her while whispering how sorry he was for blocking their connection. So far she had only told him how she lost her mother, but he could only imagine that losing her father had been just as horrific for her. He wasn't going to push her to tell him how her father died. When, and really only _if_, she was ready to tell him, Ryan had faith that she would do so. In the meantime he just wanted to hold her and let her know that everything was going to be okay going forward. That he wasn't going anywhere, not again.

"Have you ever heard of the Hollow?" Hope asked in a small voice.

"No, I haven't." Ryan replied while tucking Hope's head under his chin.

"She was this powerful witch. My ancestor. But the tribes that she was born into, as well as the other 4 or 5 tribes that were around them, they feared her power, because she killed without remorse. The night that the tribes had her mother kill her, she cast a spell that left a curse. There werewolf curse, creating the 6 or 7 different werewolf bloodlines. But they didn't know right away what she had done. They drew her and quartered her, and 4 of the tribes each took a separate bone from her remains and they scattered. When I was 7 years old, she had managed to possess a bunch of different people and was able to collect the 4 parts of her remains. And then she ended up possessing me. She was the start of our bloodline, and I was the end, and with as powerful as I can be, she needed that power to survive." Hope explained slowly.

"Please don't feel like you have to continue, Hope." Ryan commented.

"I want you to know." Hope whispered.

"And while I appreciate that, you just recounted how you lost your mother; so if you want to hold off on continuing to tell me how you lost your father, I understand." Ryan said. "I don't like seeing you cry, Hope. In fact, I downright hate it." He added while pressing a kiss to the top of Hope's head. "For right now, you need to get some sleep."

"Okay..." Hope agreed with a yawn as she snuggled closer against Ryan's chest and let her eyes close.

**Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies**

"Her breathing's evened out. Does that mean she fell asleep within her dream?" Lizzie asked as she watched Kaleb tuck Hope under the covers.

"I don't know, but I ain't goin' to go into her head to check. If she's sleepin' within her dream or not, she needs this. She's been stressed." Kaleb replied.

"Should we go find Wayne?" Lizzie asked.

"Not until she wakes up. She should be the one to ask for his help."

With a nod, Lizzie moved off of Hope's bed and towards the window seat. With a sigh she pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her cheek on top of them while looking out the window. Now that she had a moment to breathe, her mind was swirling. Everything with Sebastian and Josie and Landon had all been pushed to the back of her mind to help Hope, and on top of all of that, there was something stirring inside her whenever she looked at Kaleb now.

"You okay, Liz?" Kaleb asked as he took a seat across from her.

"Just trying to sort through all of my thoughts." Lizzie replied. "Am I a bad sister for being there more for Hope in the past few days than I have been for Josie?" She questioned in a small voice.

"Has Josie tried talking to you at all since the breakup?" Kaleb countered.

"No... but I haven't tried talking to her either. Which is why I'm asking if I'm a bad sister." Lizzie responded.

"Hey, everything came to a head all at once. Going to bring Landon back; everything that happened with Sebastian while you were going to get Landon; Landon breaking up with Josie; and Hope needing her friends. Even without us being here for Hope, you've had other things on your mind over the last few days. So why don't you go talk to your twin, and I'll stay here with our girl. When she wakes up, I'll call you."

"Thank you Kaleb. You're a really great guy."

As Lizzie stood up and went to pass the vampire, she leaned down and pressed a light kiss on his cheek. It was probably a mistake with how confused her thoughts already were, but she couldn't take it back now, and there was a part of her that didn't want to take it back. But she would deal with it after she had sorted through some of the other things that were swirling in her mind. And first on that list was seeing just how Josie was doing after things ended with Landon.

**Legacies – IOIMD – Legacies**

Hope stirred in her sleep and squeezed her eyes shut even tighter to try and stay asleep. But she was starting to get hungry, and there was a severe lack of a body beneath her, or next to her, that was making staying asleep difficult. Opening her eyes slowly, she let out a sigh. Ryan wasn't in bed with her. Before she could contemplate getting out of bed and going to find him, he came back into the room carrying a pile of boxes.

"What are those?" Hope asked.

"I um, thought that since we've started talking about the future, and kids and everything, that we could start going through the boxes that are in the other room." Ryan said as he put the pile down and rubbed the back of his neck. "If you want to, of course. We don't have to." He added.

"I'd like that." Hope replied with a nod.

"How did you sleep?" Ryan asked as he crossed the room to the bed and sat down next to her before pulling her into his side.

"Like I woke up with the man I love missing from our bed."

"I'm just making one mistake after another today, aren't I?"

"I've just lost so many people that I care about, Ryan, and when you're not here, I start to freak out that I've lost you for good, too, and I know that I won't be able to handle that."

"Okay. Then I promise to always be here."

Hope nodded at that and buried herself into Ryan's side. Wrapping her arms around his waist and draping a leg over his, Hope pressed herself as close to Ryan's body as she could. She hadn't handled seeing a body that _looked_ like him dead, so she knew that losing him for real would be the last straw before she completely broke, and she wasn't about to let that happen. Even if it was just an elaborate dreamscape version of him that she clung to. But she also knew that once she woke up, and they talked to Wayne- _or was it Wade?_ – that she would be one step closer to finding Ryan's body. She wasn't going to stop searching for ways to bring her mud man back to her until she had him in her arms and in her bed in the real world.

"Hope?" Ryan whispered.

"Hmm?"

"I love you so much, Sweetheart. I don't care about anything else, as long you hold onto the knowledge that I love you. I fell pretty quickly when we first met in Kansas. I knew from the moment you and Alaric walked back to his Jeep that I wanted to see you again, and I can't explain how thrilled I was when we crossed paths in Maple Hollows. I know I didn't show it, but the fact that your reaction to seeing me meant that there was a good chance that you remembered us meeting in Kansas, it made me feel like my life had meaning." Ryan said.

"I love you too, baby. I didn't want to admit it to myself back then, or any time after that until the other night, but I started falling for you that day in Kansas, as well. I used to feel like I was _supposed_ to be with Landon. You know that whole, _'if you love something set it free and if it comes back, it's meant to be'_, thing. We had met 2 years ago, and the night leading into my first transformation, it was the last night that I saw him before the night Dr. Saltzman and I went to get Raf and bring him to the school. And even though everything with Landon quickly started falling apart because of the lies he kept telling, or the perceived lies, I felt like I owed it to him to love him. So I was focused on that and wasn't willing to open myself up to anything else, or anyone else. I realize now that I didn't love him like I thought. I never did. It was a silly teenage girl crush on the human boy that made me feel normal." Hope replied as she lifted her head to look up at Ryan.

"And um, what about, what about me?" Ryan asked.

"If I had let myself let you in earlier, I never would have let you go, and maybe all of this would be closer to being a reality already." Hope said. "And there's a major difference between you and Landon. He always ran when things got just a little too hard to handle. You don't strike me as the kind of guy that would do that." She added.

"Thank you for saying, in so many words, that I'm not a coward like my loser little brother." Ryan commented, his voice laced with annoyance at just the thought of him being anything like Landon.

"You're welcome." Hope replied with a small smirk. "But I'm serious, Ryan. You truly don't seem like the kind of guy that would just run away. You'd stay and work things out, right?"

"Hope, Sweetheart, I would never willingly leave you. The only way that it would ever happen would be if I was forced away from you, or I was killed by my father."

Hope sat up quickly and turned to fully face Ryan who was giving her a confused look. Tilting her head, Hope took in everything about Ryan's features, doing what she could to commit them to her memory. Why she felt the need to do that within a dream, when she had already committed his features to memory in order to have him here... well, that was something Hope didn't dwell on. Ryan had just said the six words that Hope had never allowed herself to think or consider; even before she admitted that she loved him. Ryan was linked to Malivore, and if Malivore so chose to do, he could end Ryan's life without so much as a second thought. Hope wasn't going to let that happen.


End file.
